Twist and shout my way out

Not very happening nowadays, very tired, but i just refuse to sleep early, xinmin yeah you deserved it.

Church, death note. Sums up the past few days for me. I need to get my creative juice flowing. Yeahyeahyeah/

Today, worship practice for the kids this morning, reached church at 815am, second day for the camp, theres an outing to ECP today. Children songs are nice! Kind of the part of life i missed, haha not too late to sing children worship songs i guess. The kids were pretty cute, yeah, so ECP was okay for me, not too good and not too bad, its in the middle,  its a love-hate relationship. Im old, its okay if they do not really talk to me. QIXIN’s bro cute, GERMAINE’s sis very pretty, really, wah the kids v enthu. I’m just a very chui person who lacks sleep.

Just happen to know of today’s meeting, wah luckily manzxz, anyway i think we’re all working hard, jiayou people!

在祂没有难成的事!

ecstaticrendezvous:

perhaps not. i’m so down, secretly hoped you would wanna go out tmr. its not gonna happen, i’m the only one who feels empty, as though i need you around. been looking forward to every date, like i’ve been looking forward to monday. there was no agreement made but i thought, i thought, i thought wrong. aww, feeling so horrible inside. why :( for moments, i wished something bad would befall me, black out, fall terribly sick or anything. at least, I W G T S Y. chloe not so needed afterall. don’t know if you ever bother to come anymore. need to occupy my days, everyday, every single day. so i’ll get less upset and lonely. have got a list of things to tell you, from yesterday. seems like i won’t have the chance to, gonna have to push it to tmr, or the day after?

went to ECP today, honestly, didn’t really enjoy. i know it’s not an outing for us but it should be something that makes me happy right, serving and all. it was nice seeing the little children run around, those innocent faces but at the end of the day, it all felt so lonely. even though i was with cheryl for the whole time, it’s just not the same looking at how others gather in big groups. really considered to stop attending church, why go when it makes me so unhappy.

sincerely wish for more time, no need for gifts or anything, just time. i’m exhausted, literally, need to lie down for a rest, gym + ECP. on the other hand, i’m just waiting, for you. does less sleep weaken one’s body? this sounds like the perfect plan to fall sick. totally. really hope i get super sick so i’ll just lie in bed, unable to think or anything or anyone.

went to aunt’s house for early birthday celebration. original BBQ cancelled because the skies cried and brought along sadness. mummy refuses to turn up for my birthday dinner, which means daddy would most prolly call it off. daddy already said he won’t have time for me after my birthday, we’re gonna move and all. he has to pack and we’ll hardly get to see each other. it’s most probably the last family meal and yet, we won’t get it. hello? can’t we celebrate MY birthday for the last time happily together? actually it isn’t all that significant. everyone has birthdays, everyday, people celebrate. somehow, i just thought it was a good excuse to just sit down together, all of us.

The answer to the top question, yes, for mainly the bolded part. It was so bad i can cry, and cry and cry, one time. Maybe even now. Its kind of depressing, but,

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
But you are not alone

LOL, THIS SONG KIND OF POPPED INTO MY MIND.

Now everyday im pretty chui, same same, just have a good sleep chloe! :D

LOVE YOU STILL, xoxo!